Peace Between Parents & Adult Children

Peace Between Parents & Adult Children

One area where we need to apply our faith as believers is to our relationship with our grown children.

Thus says the Lord:  Refrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work (raising of your children, prayer) shall be rewarded, says the LORD, and they(your children) shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope (something that you can expect) in your future, says the LORD, that your children shall come back to their own border (place of peace and safety and well-being).”  (Jer 31:16-17 AMP, emphasis added) 

We as parents must always provide a place of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual peace, safety and well-being.  When we fall short, and most of us fall short in some way at some time, we need biblical solutions and practical help.

And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers . . .  (Mal 4:6 NKJV) The Lord is the only Being who is able to change a person’s heart.  The hearts of parents should ALWAYS be in favor of and in support of their own children.  Our hearts should always yearn for the best things for our children.

Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation . . .  (2 Cor 5:18 NKJV, emphasis added)

As followers of Jesus Christ, our desire should always be for reconciliation in our relationships.  If it doesn’t exist at the moment, it’s something that we should take to the Lord in fervent prayer.

It may happen in some families that after children have grown, they choose to disconnect totally from their relationship with their parents.  In some cases, the parents may not have a clue as to why this has happened.  In other scenarios, one or the other parent does know the reason.  It can be the result of one parent who was harsh, overly strict or critical of the child or children as they were being raised.  Or it can be as serious as some form of abuse.  Whatever the situation, it can result in grown children having very painful memories and deep anger and resentment against a parent.  In some cases, the adult children may be in counseling to deal with the emotional and mental pain they are experiencing and have experienced in the past.

Parents who find themselves in this situation need to scrupulously review their past behavior in their relationship with their child (or children).  They must take full responsibility for their own actions, and openly admit their faults to their family. 

If there is a pathway to open communication, the parent should apologize and repent directly to the child (or children) whom they have hurt.  Additionally, whichever parent was responsible would need to promise to change the way that they relate to their adult child, so that in future the relationship would be based solely upon positive and healthy input from the parent.  Then the parent should pray for God’s grace and help in fulfilling this goal. 

Copious prayer is needed in this situation by both parents!  The offending parent should ask God to correct them, give them wisdom and insight, and to reveal what their child (or children) truly needs right now.  Praying for God’s peace to reign in the relationship is also key.

If there is no communication between parent and child, then the one hope and solution available to the parent is to continually pray for God to bring healing and reconciliation into the relationship between them and their child.  In this case, it is also good to ask God to reveal to the parent where they made mistakes and how they sinned against their child.  Repent wholeheartedly to God for whatever He reveals, and determine to change the behavior.  Read books on good parenting of adult children, and seek counseling if possible.  Counseling can come through licensed counselors, group counseling, pastors, psychologists, or 12-step programs such as AA. 

As followers of Jesus, we must seek peace in all of our relationships.  (Rom 12:18)  Parents never stop being parents, even after our children are grown.  So it is pleasing to God for us to continue to pray for our estranged adult children, and to ask God to bless them and to continue to protect them and to fulfill His will in their lives.  It would be wisdom to also pray earnestly for healing and for reconciliation in the relationship with the estranged child or children.  May God’s peace reign in your life and your family in Jesus’ name.

The Wells of Salvation

The Wells of Salvation

Therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.  (Isa 12:3)

This Scripture has always fascinated and intrigued me.  This is beautiful language from the heart of our Savior God.

Here is what I hear when I read this passage:

“With great jubilation and rejoicing, I shall pull forth the knowledge of God’s love, goodness, and power from the never-ending source of blessings within me. (That source is Jesus Christ, the Lord.)”  Wow!  What a powerful confession and testimony!

Deep within God’s wells of salvation, we shall experience the cool water of God’s grace, strength and joy.  This will refresh and strengthen our hearts and motivate us to praise and give thanks to our God.

On another level, we all know that water is necessary to sustain life.  Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.  (Joh 14:6)  We cannot have eternal life without Him.  We can’t experience the blessings of God upon the righteous except through Jesus.  He is the mediator and connection between God the Father and mankind.  (1 Tim 2:5; Heb 8:6)  The Word reminds us that Jesus lives to make intercession for us!  (Heb 7:25)

The term “wells of salvation” indicate an ever-flowing, enduring, and unfailing supply of water.  Jesus is not only the fountain but the water of life itself!

“. . . but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”  (John 4:14)

“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”  (John 7:38)

Take a little time to think about the “wells of salvation” that Christ has placed within you. Consider that they were put there to not only bless, heal, and to prosper YOU; but also to bless, heal, and to prosper ALL with whom you come in contact!  You are a Christ-carrier so allow Him to operate through you.

How to React to the Enemy; Our Calling

How to React to the Enemy; Our Calling

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.  (Mat 5:44)

Jesus is speaking in this passage.  This Scripture goes completely contrary to our carnal nature as well as to “man’s wisdom.”  This passage demonstrates the nature of Jesus—and He is our shining example. 

We’re directed to love our enemies; bless people who curse us; do good to those who hate us; and pray for those who abuse and persecute us.  These things are impossible to do without the grace of God, and without the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.

Since Jesus and His Father are united in nature, purpose, and love, those who have known Jesus have also known the Father!  Here are Bible passages that demonstrate and support this concept:

  1. “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen”  (John 14:7)
  2. Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; so how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?  (John 14:9)
  3. God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds; who being the brightness of His glory and the express image of His person, and upholding all things by the word of His power, when He had by Himself purged our sins, sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high . . . (Heb 1:1-3)

So in reading the Scripture at the top of this article (Mat 5:44), we understand that Jesus is teaching us how to respond to and deal with our enemies—those who spitefully use us.  When we obey His instructions, we are following Jesus’ example to us.  We’re also proving that we are His disciples and followers.

As Jesus’ followers, these are the instructions that we must follow (our “to do” list):

  • And when He had called His twelve disciples to Him, He gave them power over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease.  (Mat 10:1)
  • And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.  (Mat 28:18-20)
  • Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. (Lk 9:1-2)

So we know how to treat our enemies, and we also know what directives Jesus gave to us.  These show us our true calling!  May our God bless you abundantly as you live each day in obedience to His call upon your life.